Mothers, Daughters and Sisters

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Emma has become my worst fear at night.
I lay waiting, full of anxiety.
For I know she will come for me at some point.
She will creep into my bedroom. Her soft little hand will touch my arm.
I fear the hand, I fear the footsteps.
She takes me by force to her bedroom.
The routine is always the same. She wants me to sleep in her bed the whole night.
I lay there balanced on the edge , waiting for her to fall asleep. Then I carefully make my escape.
I climb back into my big comfy bed, laying in wait and dread.

Last night she visited me six times within four hours.

Tonight will be different.

I am off to the store to buy a child proof door handle cover. The ones that challenge adults to open the door. I will joyfully place it on the inside of Emma's room.

I will lay safe without fear tonight, knowing she can't get me.

I know I have a new fear to face. Two AM, Emma crying and screaming, "Mummy, I want you"
Thankfully my ears will be stuffed with my super strength earplugs!

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